Bulashita-vibhaga-sutra

[Blacklight]

ВОЛЬНЫЕ ИНТЕРПРЕТАЦИИ
ФРАЗЫ "SHIT HAPPENED"
В РАЗЛИЧНЫХ ВАРИАЦИЯХ

Тайская вера:
Жопа случилась.

Конфуцианство:
Конфуций учит: "Cлучилась жопа".

Буддизм:
Если случилась жопа - в действительности это не жопа.

Гедонизм:
Hет ничего лучше хорошо случившейся жопы.

Индуизм:
Эта жопа случалась и раньше.

Мормоны:
Эта жопа еще случится.

Стоицизм:
Эта жопа мне только на пользу.

Ислам:
Если жопа случилась - значит, на то была воля Аллаха.

Католицизм:
Жопа случилась потому что вы были плохими.

Кальвинизм:
Жопа случилась от того, что мы недостаточно усердно трудились.

Протестанство:
Пусть эта жопа случится с кем-нибудь другим.

Иудаизм:
И почему эта жопа случается только с нами?

Пpавославие:
Жопа случилась? Hу и фиг с ней...

Кришнаиты:
Жопа случилась. Рама-рама.

Атеизм:
У-у, ж-жопа!

Экзистенциализм:
Что такое жопа, в сущности?

Растафарианизм:
Давайте забьем косяк из этой жопы!

Субъективный солипсизм:
Жопа - это я!

Объективный солипсизм:
Жопа - это ты!

Хайнлайнизм:
Мы все - жопа!

Пессимизм:
Жопа перманентна! Она была, есть и будет.

Фpейдизм:
Жопа случилась в pаннем детстве.

Юнг:
То, что жопа случилась, является пpоявлением аpхетипа Великой Матеpи.

Карнеги:
Со мной такая жопа уже случалась.

Беpн:
Эта жопа случилась еще с моей бабушкой.

Гештальт подход:
А какое мне дело до этой жопы.

Митьки:
Что же ты, жопа, случилась, дуpилка ты каpтонная?

Металлисты:
Как угаpно случилась эта чумовая жопа!

Гопники:
Щас кому-то заделаю жопу!

Win'dizm:
Жопа случилась и вы будете с ней pаботать.

NT'izm:
Случилось? Закрой все. Дааа, жопа случилась.

MAC'izm:
Где жопа? Что ты понимаешь в жопах?!!

UNIX'izm:
Это не жопа, а патченое микpоядpо.

Z-80'izm:
Beeeep... Sshhhh... Beeep... Shhh... Pshhh... Tape loading error.

Физика:
Жопа случилась? Все относительно...

[Пламен]

This is the shit that happened to my mind:

Hinayana:
Shit happens to some!

Mahayana:
Shit happens to all.

Vajrayana:
Shit happens for the last time.

Yogacara:
Shit happens only in your consciousness.

Madhyamaka:
All the shit happened. Now everything is empty.

Zen:
There is no difference between you and the shit that happens.

Sarvastivada:
Shit happens all the time.

Sautrantika:
All the shit happens in the end.

Theravada:
This shit is very old.

Nagasena:
Shit is a name for denoting the Self.

Vasubandhu:
The more you try to avoid the shit, the more it happens to you.

Ekayana:
All the shit in one vehicle.

[Blacklight]

nice...

[admin]

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

Taoism: Shit happens.

Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."

Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.

Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism: This shit has happened before.

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.

Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.

Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.

Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.

Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.

Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.

Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.

Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)

Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.

Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.

Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.

Creationism: God made all shit.

Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.

Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!

Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.

Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.

Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.

Utopianism: This shit does not stink.

Darwinism: This shit was once food.

Capitalism: That's MY shit.

Communism: It's everybody's shit.

Feminism: Men are shit.

Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...

Commercialism: Let's package this shit.

Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.

Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.

Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.

Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?

Stoicism: This shit is good for me.

Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!

Mormonism: God sent us this shit.

Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.

Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.

Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.

Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.

Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?

Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.

Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.

Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.

Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.

Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.

Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?

Agnostic #3: What is this shit?

Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.

Atheism: What shit?

Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!

Nihilism: No shit.

And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

[admin]

Here is the latest version of the Bulashita-vibhaga-sutra which some experts suggested to rename Bulashita-hridaya-sutra:

This is the shit that just happened to me:

Hinayana:
Shit happens to some!

Mahayana:
Shit happens to all.

Ekayana:
Shit happens even to the enlightened.

Shravakayana:
Shit happens to those who listen.

Pratyekayana:
Shit happens to chosen individuals.

Vajrayana:
This shit is a real diamond.

Dzogchen:
Shit happens for the last time.

Anuttara Tantra:
Our shit is the biggest one.

Lama Surya Das:
Shit happens to non-sectarians.

Gelugpa:
This shit has to be analyzed.

Yogacara:
Shit happens only in your consciousness.

Shunyavada:
All the shit happened. Now everything is empty.

Zen:
Shit happens here and now.

Sarvastivada:
Shit happens all the time.

Sautrantika:
All the shit happens in the end.

Theravada:
This shit is very old.

Nagasena:
Shit is a name for denoting the Self.

Vasubandhu:
The more you try to avoid shit, the more it happens to you.

Madhyamaka:
Take the path between these two shits.

Vijnanavada:
Know that shit.

Mayavada:
This shit is illusion.

Vaisesika:
This shit is eternal and indivisible substance.

Nyaya:
Shit happens because of our wrong logic.

Samkhya:
Shit evolves and turns into consciousness.

Yoga Darsana:
Take a breath and remove that shit from your mind.

[КИ]

The shiting comparativism.

//Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.

//Yogacara: Shit happens only in your consciousness.

Похоже получилось. "Christian Science #2"это берклианство видимо.