ВОЛЬНЫЕ ИНТЕРПРЕТАЦИИ
ФРАЗЫ "SHIT HAPPENED"
В РАЗЛИЧНЫХ ВАРИАЦИЯХ
Тайская вера:
Жопа случилась.
Конфуцианство:
Конфуций учит: "Cлучилась жопа".
Буддизм:
Если случилась жопа - в действительности это не жопа.
Гедонизм:
Hет ничего лучше хорошо случившейся жопы.
Индуизм:
Эта жопа случалась и раньше.
Мормоны:
Эта жопа еще случится.
Стоицизм:
Эта жопа мне только на пользу.
Ислам:
Если жопа случилась - значит, на то была воля Аллаха.
Католицизм:
Жопа случилась потому что вы были плохими.
Кальвинизм:
Жопа случилась от того, что мы недостаточно усердно трудились.
Протестанство:
Пусть эта жопа случится с кем-нибудь другим.
Иудаизм:
И почему эта жопа случается только с нами?
Пpавославие:
Жопа случилась? Hу и фиг с ней...
Кришнаиты:
Жопа случилась. Рама-рама.
Атеизм:
У-у, ж-жопа!
Экзистенциализм:
Что такое жопа, в сущности?
Растафарианизм:
Давайте забьем косяк из этой жопы!
Субъективный солипсизм:
Жопа - это я!
Объективный солипсизм:
Жопа - это ты!
Хайнлайнизм:
Мы все - жопа!
Пессимизм:
Жопа перманентна! Она была, есть и будет.
Фpейдизм:
Жопа случилась в pаннем детстве.
Юнг:
То, что жопа случилась, является пpоявлением аpхетипа Великой Матеpи.
Карнеги:
Со мной такая жопа уже случалась.
Беpн:
Эта жопа случилась еще с моей бабушкой.
Гештальт подход:
А какое мне дело до этой жопы.
Митьки:
Что же ты, жопа, случилась, дуpилка ты каpтонная?
Металлисты:
Как угаpно случилась эта чумовая жопа!
Гопники:
Щас кому-то заделаю жопу!
Win'dizm:
Жопа случилась и вы будете с ней pаботать.
NT'izm:
Случилось? Закрой все. Дааа, жопа случилась.
MAC'izm:
Где жопа? Что ты понимаешь в жопах?!!
UNIX'izm:
Это не жопа, а патченое микpоядpо.
Z-80'izm:
Beeeep... Sshhhh... Beeep... Shhh... Pshhh... Tape loading error.
Физика:
Жопа случилась? Все относительно...
This is the shit that happened to my mind:
Hinayana:
Shit happens to some!
Mahayana:
Shit happens to all.
Vajrayana:
Shit happens for the last time.
Yogacara:
Shit happens only in your consciousness.
Madhyamaka:
All the shit happened. Now everything is empty.
Zen:
There is no difference between you and the shit that happens.
Sarvastivada:
Shit happens all the time.
Sautrantika:
All the shit happens in the end.
Theravada:
This shit is very old.
Nagasena:
Shit is a name for denoting the Self.
Vasubandhu:
The more you try to avoid the shit, the more it happens to you.
Ekayana:
All the shit in one vehicle.
nice...
Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.
And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!
Here is the latest version of the Bulashita-vibhaga-sutra which some experts suggested to rename Bulashita-hridaya-sutra:
This is the shit that just happened to me:
Hinayana:
Shit happens to some!
Mahayana:
Shit happens to all.
Ekayana:
Shit happens even to the enlightened.
Shravakayana:
Shit happens to those who listen.
Pratyekayana:
Shit happens to chosen individuals.
Vajrayana:
This shit is a real diamond.
Dzogchen:
Shit happens for the last time.
Anuttara Tantra:
Our shit is the biggest one.
Lama Surya Das:
Shit happens to non-sectarians.
Gelugpa:
This shit has to be analyzed.
Yogacara:
Shit happens only in your consciousness.
Shunyavada:
All the shit happened. Now everything is empty.
Zen:
Shit happens here and now.
Sarvastivada:
Shit happens all the time.
Sautrantika:
All the shit happens in the end.
Theravada:
This shit is very old.
Nagasena:
Shit is a name for denoting the Self.
Vasubandhu:
The more you try to avoid shit, the more it happens to you.
Madhyamaka:
Take the path between these two shits.
Vijnanavada:
Know that shit.
Mayavada:
This shit is illusion.
Vaisesika:
This shit is eternal and indivisible substance.
Nyaya:
Shit happens because of our wrong logic.
Samkhya:
Shit evolves and turns into consciousness.
Yoga Darsana:
Take a breath and remove that shit from your mind.
The shiting comparativism.
//Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
//Yogacara: Shit happens only in your consciousness.
Похоже получилось. "Christian Science #2"это берклианство видимо.